Testimony of Hope

The past few weeks have been some of the worst and some of the best I've had. From the super fun last days I spent at the end of last semester with my best friends, to the horribly sad goodbye we had at the end, to the best break I've spent at home with my family since I moved back to school, to the largest feeling of not wanting to move back to school I've ever had, to the strong feeling of gratitude once I got here that I am able to go to school and gain an education, to the calming feeling I now feel that everything is going to be great. I've been at lower points in my life then the past few weeks, but this has hard in a different way. It was hard because I knew that change was coming months ahead and I knew that it would be good change, but even when change is good it isn't always fun. I have thought a lot this week about a lesson my sister taught in relief society on Sunday. The main theme was moving forward with faith even when we may want to go back to the past or yearn for it. At times this week where I was wishing I had my best friends here to talk to when I got home, or meet up to for lunch, or go somewhere fun with, I just remembered that idea. I have faith and hope in the future and with that faith I can get up everyday and be so happy because life really is amazing! Then last night I watched a movie with some people. In this movie the man had lost a company 1 billion dollars and it was soon going to be known all over the world. His girlfriend sends him on a road trip with clues of where to stop along the way. She tells him to stop at a newspaper stand and read the paper that talked about his failure. She then said something like "you have five minutes to wallow in self-pity, then you are going to get back in that car and keep going." That really hit me. I've had my many five-minutes of crying and sadness and feeling self-pity because I am now here at school alone. But it's done! I realized last night how grateful I am that I no longer rely on others actions, words, or opinions to make me happy. I know who I am and who is watching out for me and that is really all that matters. Yes, I have hope that one day certain things will happen to me, but not having them right this moment no longer dictates my happiness. Joy in the journey right! Everything will happen when it's supposed to and I want to be the girl that people wonder why she is always so happy- because there is never any reason not to be!

Finally, this morning I saw this message on lds.org http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbsU3b2srQA I have not been so low these past few weeks that I've lost all sense of everything, but this video was just another little reminder that someone is watching out for me and that everything will always be ok!